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GAZETTE

There are a lot of bad smells hanging around the White House -- like those that are oozing from the Benghazi Scandal, the IRS Scandal, the Health Insurance Scandal, the Associated Press Scandal, to name a few. I've noticed there's also a defining human smell in many other places as well. Maybe you too have come across some of these items in the news these past few months.

January 2013. A synthetic poop was developed at the University of Guelph in Guelph, Ontario, that can cure nasty gastrointestinal infections caused by clostridium difficile, a toxin-producing bacterium. The super probiotic poop was made from purified intestinal bacterial cultures grown in robo-gut equipment in a Guelph laboratory that mimics the environment of the large intestine. (Reported by the University of Guelph.)

January 2013. Al Roker, the weatherman, reported that he pooped his pants at the White House and that the accident was related to his gastric bypass surgery that he had undergone a month earlier. It actually happened back in 2002, he confided, explaining that foods high in fat or sugar can trigger symptoms in post-bypass patients. He managed to get to the bathroom in the press room, tossed out his soiled underwear, and put his suit back on. (Reported in the Los Angeles Times.)

February 2013. A Carnival Cruise ship called Triumph was towed into Mobile, Alabama, after a week stuck at sea due to an engine fire. The Triumph was given the nickname Poop Cruise because passengers were forced to use the bathroom in bags. There was no air conditioning or running water on the ship. Floors and hallways were flooded with poop. Testimonies from passengers are truly disgusting. (Reported in Business Insider.)

March 2013. A home health care worker in Norwalk, Connecticut, is accused of leaving poop in her former employer's oven and refrigerator after a work-related dispute. She was charged with third-degree criminal mischief and breach of peace. When the oven was turned on in the employer's house, the house began to smell of poop and mothballs. Losing a job stinks. (Reported on News 8 Connecticut.)

April 2013. An Ocean Springs, Mississippi, man used buckets of human poop to cover the strong smell of marijuana emanating from a pot-growing operation in his house. The local sheriff and officers raided the property and found multiple buckets of poop used to cover the smell of marijuana growing in the house. (Reported in The Raw Story.)

May 2013. There is a shortage of toilet paper in Venezuela. The government is blaming the shortage on excessive demand caused by a media campaign to disrupt the country. The commerce minister said the government will saturate the market with toilet paper so that the people will calm down. Patience is wearing thin among consumers. Pooping continues. (Reported in The Guardian.)

May 2013. The U.S. Center for Disease Control reports that 60% of public swimming pools tested positive for bacteria found in human poop that can cause rashes and infections. Researchers had collected samples from 161 indoor and outdoor pools in and around Atlanta, Georgia. Chlorine and other pool cleaning chemicals don't kill bacteria immediately. Do not swallow the water you swim in. Never go swimming when you have diarrhea. (Reported in Healthline News.)

May 2013. The Minnesota Pollution Control Agency reported that scientists studied 50 lakes across Minnesota, chosen at random, and found many things in the lakes besides fish. They found cocaine, synthetic estrogen, antidepressants, DEET insect repellent, Bisphenol A (a chemical in plastic), and carbadox (an antibiotic used in swine which is also a carcinogen). Much of the contamination in lakes comes from human waste, streets, roofs, and other runoff. (Reported in the StarTribune.)

And so it's about human waste. There's a chapter in Coming Home Crazy that comes to mind. The book was written by the late Bill Holm, that Icelandic writer, poet, pianist, professor from Minneota, Minnesota. The chapter was about nighttime in the carrot fields of China. In the dark, when most of the countryside is asleep, human waste is spread on the fields and it puts a bad smell in the air. It also turns the carrots red.

The scandals we are living with today, one after the other, are turning freedom into tyranny, order into chaos, and the common good into common horror. Bad smells are oozing from the Solyndra Scandal, the Fast and Furious Scandal, the James Rosen Scandal, the DOJ Scandal, the Gibson Guitar Scandal. Are you holding your nose too? Or are you getting used to it?

~Sue