Page Title

Huber

Funeral Home & Cremation Services

952-474-9595

Pediatric Rehabilitation Clinic.

Occupational Therapy. Speech Therapy.

952-443-9888

Victoria’s Corner Bar. Nightly Specials and Menus. 952-443-9944

Buying or Selling Victoria?

Call Nan Emmer. 612-702-2020

Weinzierl

Jewelers

8 First Street in Waconia. 952-442-2885

Preschool and Childcare in Victoria.

Call 952-443-2121.

MVT Excavating

No job is too small. 952-446-9341

The Key

The Key to advertisers

in the Victoria Gazette.

Located at www.VictoriaGazette.com.

Birdie with a yellow bill

Hopped upon my windowsill,

Cocked his shining eye and says,

“What’s for dinner, Donald -- duck?”

Did you hear about those 57 mallard ducks that were run over in mid January by a snowmobiler on an icy river in Wisconsin? Seems nearly impossible to me, unless the ducks were frozen into the ice. Ducks aren’t easy to get, according to the hunter guys I know. Even when stalking ducks, my hunters don’t come home with 57 of them. Next time I’m going to suggest they use a snowmobile.

But that is not my point.

As the duck/snowmobile story was being reported in the online edition of the Star Tribune -- on January 15th -- they included these words: “The warden calls the killer a person with no concern for life. The incident comes as public outrage grows about another thrill killing.”

Do you hear what I hear? They used the words “killer” and “killing.” But have you noticed that when someone shoots a person on an interstate highway or in the halls of a neighborhood school and his bullets kill people, that gunman is referred to as a “shooter.” He’s not referred to as a “killer” or a “murderer.”

In other words, you run over some ducks and you’re a killer. You murder some people and you’re only a shooter. Heaven, help us.

***

Did you hear about those wild turkeys living along Highway 5 on the east side of Victoria? They’ve come to dot that vineyard and apple orchard landscape of the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum on a regular basis every evening this time of year. Exact location? The hillside on the north side of the highway just west of the intersection with Hwy 41.

If you’re on the road close to dusk, say around 5 p.m., those turkeys have often already found their bed for the night up in the highest branches of the highest trees at that exact location! I always wonder how those branches can hold the weight, and I always wonder how the turkeys are able to defy the laws of gravity. When I think of turkeys, I don’t see them in flight. I see their large clumsy bodies strutting very close to the ground or, otherwise, neatly folded and stuffed on my Thanksgiving platter.

As spring arrives, that flock of turkeys along Hwy 5 will be gone, having scattered to the winds to find a mate and fight for her. Cupid plays with turkeys of all kinds, nicht wahr?

***

Did you hear about all the robin redbreasts that remained in the Twin Cities metro area this winter, rather than flying south to spend time with the other Minnesota snowbirds? Several speculations abound. One is that our trees are having bumper berry and nut crops this year so there was enticement to stay with us hardy souls. The main reason birds travel south is to maintain a food supply.

Have you seen robins this winter? Not I. Reports are that they appear fat and pregnant, but it’s an illusion. They’re only fluffing their feathers to retain some body heat, having been fleeced by the global chill.

***

Did you hear about those 5,000 European starlings in New Jersey killed in January with poison seeds by the U.S. Department of Agriculture? The planned kill occurred because the birds were eating huge amounts of cattle feed and chicken feed of area farmers, and they were also pooping much in the animal feeders.

Shortly after the birds ate the seeds tainted with pesticide, it began raining dead birds all over town and residents were horrified to find them on their roads, rooftops, yards, windshields, cars, front steps. Apparently the blackbirds died in flight and not in their bed at night. In any case, the residents hadn’t been forewarned of the culling nor that the poison was harmless to people and pets. Yeah, sure, you betcha.

***

Did you hear about the flock of geese that were dispersed by Flight #1549 shortly after departing from La Guardia Airport in January? The geese ended up in the engine, gutted and shredded to bits, and the plane ended up in the Hudson River. I was surprised that headline news did not refer to the geese getting “killed,” nor were there expressions of public outrage at their demise.

However, I did read the following sentence in the related story of the online edition of the New York Times: “Like many immigrant populations of New York and New Jersey, the geese have made the best of it and are admired by biologists for their intelligence and resourcefulness.”

In other words, you can use all kinds of words normally used in reference to humans -- like immigrant, intelligent, resourceful -- also in talking about geese. Granted, they and we both have two legs and generally waddle upright, but when is the last time you admired a goose? Heaven, help us.

Birdie with a yellow bill

Hopped upon my windowsill,

Cocked his shining eye and says,

“What’s for dinner, Mother -- goose?”