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"I like to know what's going on," said Barb. "They called me a lot, probably four to five calls per day plus fifteen to twenty emails per day. I handled insurance questions for them, and other questions. Some of these things are not new to me because my dad is a retired National Guardsman, and Steve was in the regular Army when we got married."
Barb's dad was Command Sergeant Major of the Second Battalion of the 135th Infantry Regiment, the 34th Infantry Division.
Husband Steve had enlisted in the U.S. Army Reserves in 1982 because they had infantry units nearby, at Fort Snelling. In 1985 he joined Army ROTC at the University of Minnesota and was commissioned a Second Lieutenant in the National Guard.
In 1987 he entered Active Duty as an Army Officer at Fort Carson, Colorado, and at Fort Benning, Georgia, as a Captain.
In 1999 he enlisted in the National Guard, partly to get his Master's Degree and partly because he missed "being with the guys."
In 2001 he was called into Active Duty as part of a Security Force augmenting existing security at the Minneapolis airport. It was in September of 2003 that he was called into Active Duty for Kosovo, first training three months at Fort Stewart, Georgia, and also in Germany.
***
Last spring Barb traveled to Bulgaria for a long Memorial Day Weekend with her husband. "We had three full days together and we did a lot of sightseeing," she said. "It was hard to leave him but not the country."
Said Daniel, "My grandma came and stayed with us and our basement flooded and we didn't tell Mom."
"They didn't want to spoil the trip for me," said the understanding mother, "but when I saw them at the airport they told me, and when I got home my house was in total disarray. The sump pump had stopped working. Carpets had to be replaced. It was a mess."
"I have a new respect for single parents," she said. "Even when the kids got sick at school where I work, I had to leave my job." Barb is a Title One para professional at the Watertown Elementary School.
"But I had great support from the school," she added. "Friends and teachers were terrific. We were very blessed to be where we are. I'd find gifts and cards in my box at school. They baked things for us. People at church would put money in my wallet. Neighbors would give me gift certificates. The support was unbelievable."
"One time after 9/11 when I was getting gas for my truck, somebody walked over and paid the bill," said Steve. "And the City of Victoria was fantastic." He got to keep his job while he was gone and also part of his city salary that wasn't covered by wages of the National Guard. The City of Victoria was recognized as an exemplary employer during these hard times of war.
***
Did the kids see a difference in their dad when he got home? "Yes," said Daniel. "He was physically stronger. He knows more moves to take me down. My dad has more respect for me now because I'm older. He taught me how to use the power tools, and he let me use a knife to carve things."
Said Mary Kate, "He talks a lot when he answers all of Dan's questions."
"He grew bigger and bigger," said Nathan. "He was nice. He was happy."
"He came back with more patience," said Barb.
"My dad made me a camouflage suit," said Dan. "I look just like a bush in it. Little kids drop their books and run when they see me. Life's not fair. My friends call me a walking tree."
This elder son also picked up a larger vocabulary and wider vision, which was apparent at the pizza place. "I started watching the history channel when Dad was gone," he explained. "It's very good. It's very educational."
Did Steve notice a change in his kids? "They all got taller," he replied. "The one thing about military kids -- and also the spouses -- they learn to get independent, to take care of themselves. They get stronger."
Barb agreed, "I found myself speak-ing up more about things because Steve wasn't there for that reinforcement. I became more independent, and I thought I was already independent!" She smiled at this reality, and reported that other military wives were saying the same thing.
Each of the young sons said he wants to be in the U.S. Military or National Hockey League when he grows up. Mary Kate said she wants to be a marine biologist or a soldier or an oceanographer. "I like science," she explained, and then added, "maybe not a soldier."
Mary Kate was holding her red carnation close to her heart after the pizza supper, and then she said shyly, "Do you want to know what I missed? I was thinking of something that made me sad when my dad was gone, and I remembered that I saw a girl at school get hugged by her dad ..."
***
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