Sunday Service

by Jesse Coghill
Jordan, Minnesota

As I sat in church last Sunday,
I could feel an awesome force,
When I joined the congregation
In the Hallelujah Chorus.

Parson Brown stepped to the altar,
As the choir sang a hymn.
Then he raised his voice to heaven,
"Let the service now begin!"

He told of the Second Coming,
"Are you ready for the end?"
Some ladies fainted dead away,
"Praise the lord!  Amen!  Amen!"

He paused a bit to wipe his brow,
Then quickly started up again.
He told us we were doomed to hell
To suffer pain for mortal sin.

We were in a state of frenzy,
Pondering our hellish fate.
Then he gave a secret signal
And the ushers passed the plate.

We could feel the flames of Hades,
Just a lickin' at our skin.
We dug deep into our pockets,
And tossed all our money in.

He put the holy book away
Behind the golden shiny door,
Blessed us all, his somber children,
And said, "Go and sin no more."

This preacher with the godly job
Is a business man to boot.
When I saw him in his office,
He was toting up the loot.