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Allan took me away from the rats and the rat race last week and together we traveled to the land of turkeys and turkey hunters. He brought me to Lanesboro, where we roosted for one night and where he showed me the hills and haunts that beckon him and his buddies each spring.
They've been hunting with some luck in Lanesboro four years now, after being skunked four years in the foothills of Missouri. Do turkeys and skunks go well together? Yes, they do. You could even throw in a couple bull snakes. Not on the dinner table, mind you, but in the peaceful wilderness that lies about a half-hour south of Rochester, Minnesota.
The weekend before this, Allan saw no turkeys. This weekend with me, he saw a turkey. It was crossing the road to get to the other side. Even if Allan's rifle had been in the car with us, he couldn't have shot the bird because it was a hen. You are not supposed to shoot ladies, whether or not they are in Lanesboro.
But shoot the breeze, we did, as he winded us down hidden valley roads along the Root River, then up a steep incline to the top of a cliff where a Lutheran and Catholic church were planted side by side many years ago, with all the houses and town below them.
The view from the top of the cliff is spectacular, but you have to be an athlete to walk to church in the summer and a daredevil to navigate the hill in any manner in the winter. If and when the people of Lanesboro reach the top for Sunday services, they are surely able to say they have heard the sermon on the mount.
Down and around and over the bridges we continued. The Bridges of Fillmore County are not covered as are those of Madison County, but they are nonetheless very picturesque. It's the Root River winding every which way that created a necessity for all these bridges. You can't get anywhere in a straight line in this territory unless you are a crow.
Our accommodations that evening resided in an establish-ment with a most unusual name: The Victorian House. Do you believe it? Yes, indeed, I felt right at home, even with the extra 'n' in the inn.
Now one might have expected dinner fare at this Bed & Breakfast to be English, considering Her Highness Queen Victoria ruled in English, but the gourmet meal was French. From the top of Jean Claude, our cook, to the bottom of the Eifel Tower, replica of course, the meal was French.
Presented in several decorative courses, the food consisted of the largest fresh asparagus spears I've ever seen dressed in a delicious bernaise sauce, a bowl of perfectly seasoned tomato bisque, French greens, the most tender and tasty of beef filets, crusted mashed potatoes, peas in the pod nine days old, fine chocolates, and Merlot.
Did I mention the escargot? It was our appetizer. We ordered it because of the advertisement: "The Best Escargot in Lanesboro." Each of the little creatures was swimming in its individual pool of melted garlic-seasoned butter. We gummed them appropriately, savored them, swallowed them, then drenched hot French bread in the drippings. Mmmmmm. Surely our cholesterol levels came to match those of the White Cliffs of Dover, I mean Lanesboro.
If you haven't talked to Allan yet, you don't know yet that I forgot to pack three essential items for this hastily planned jaunt: my hair dryer, my makeup, and my pajamas. It's not funny. I had to sit at breakfast with a wet head. My complexion matched that of the pancakes. And when I crawled into bed wearing one of Allan's shirts I felt like a turkey in the straw.
By the time we got back to Victoria the rats weren't so big and the race wasn't so fast. It' a wonderful life. Just ask Jimmy Stewart, and don't wait until the end of the movie.
--Sue
DEADLINE
The deadline for the next issue of the Gazette is Monday, June 19th. The paper will be out before the Fourth of July, God willing and the river don't rise. You can send your news to Box 387 in Victoria, call me at 443-2010, or e-mail Sue@VictoriaGazette.com Thank you, always, for thinking of the Gazette.
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