"To say that a work of art is good but incomprehensible to the majority of men, is the same as saying of some kind of food  that it is very good but most people can't eat it." LEO TOLSTOY, RUSSIAN AUTHOR, MORAL THINKER about abstract art. Sorta like lutefisk. "When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you." TOM STUMPF, VICTORIA, MINNESOTA, to the editor. Hold your breath. "If it weren't so cold, I'd go home." BILL DAWSON after dinner at the Victoria House, with 20 below temps outdoors. Global warming is a myth. "If a friendship shares good things, it is a good friendship; if it shares shallow things, it is a shallow friendship." PABLO STRAUB, EWTN I'm drowning. "We're all getting plastic." MOTHER ANGELICA, EWTN instead of cash. Surgery? "He who knows not , and knows not that he knows not, is a fool." CHINESE PROVERB being bobbled about as "news." Oofda. "If you can't have a good time, stay home.  That's our mission statement." MARY MOORE, VICTORIA, MINNESOTA about her group of friends. No foolin'. "If the family room gets any messier, we're going to have to put a match to it." DENISE STUMPF, VICTORIA, MINNESOTA to her family;. A boxing match. "I only got 89% of the vote." WHITEY WELLENS, DAVENPORT, FLORIDA elected vice president of his homeowners association. You get a B+. "I don't know what happened to the 11%.  Maybe they were bad ballots." WHITEY WELLENS, DAVENPORT, FLORIDA pondering the election results. They flunked. "Work is made for man, not man for work." POPE JOHN PAUL II, VATICAN CITY I could use an extra mule. "You shouldn't ask God for what He doesn't want to give you." SR. MARY RAPHAEL, EWTN How about a man with facial hair? "Show me a man with facial hair and I'll show you what he had for breakfast." MARIE STUMPF, LE SUEUR, MINNESOTA Usually it's bran. "It's healthy to question people who question authority." DR. DAVID HOUSE, Pres., ST. JOSEPH COLLEGE, MAINE casting a new slant on things. I've got a question. "Quick, start walking!  Two weird people are looking at us." DORI SCHAPPEL, PENNSYLVANIA to her twin sister, with whom she is conjoined at the head. The eye of the beholder.